Rule #8 is to Know what they other side wants.

OK, you’ve done that. You know what they want.

Now, how do you get them to agree to what you want?
Will they ever say yes?

Ever hear of the strategy “win, win?” I use to say that a lot. Perhaps not in the way it was originally meant.
Let me give you an example. A hypothetical example. It’s not about anyone I worked with, I don’t want any negative emails.

Let’s say hypothetically you have a coworker (he/she) who once hypothetically mentioned he/she wanted to go out after work with the rest of your group but was never asked. And the truth was, no one really wanted to ask him/her to go out with the group. So you asked him/her to come out with the group but he/she declines! For whatever reason! It’s a win win! He/She wins because they were asked, your group wins because he/she’s not coming!

I know, this probably isn’t what the person who first coined the term meant but it is a win win! If you don’t agree then try explaining it to the (hypothetical) group above.

For our purposes of reaching resolutions, a win win is a scenario where both sides come away feeling like they achieved some or part of what they originally wanted.

Now back to our question, will they ever say yes?

They will… if you give them something they want. Not everything, but something.

What can we give them?
I start by giving them something that is of the least importance to us. Something we can live with without causing too much turmoil to our side.

And then I work up from there.
My goal is to give up what I don’t care about and try to get what I do.
I imagine this is what horse trading must have been like.

Qualifier: I have never owned or traded a horse in my life.

Of course the other side is doing the same thing so…eventually we’ll meet somewhere in the middle.

And that’s really all there is to it. Sounds easy enough.
It’s the back and forth trying to figure out what your side can give up vs. what the other side wants that can be difficult.

So we won’t get everything we want? Yes, that’s correct. And, believe me, no one truly goes into negotiations expecting to get everything.

Now I have had team members who said, “We want everything our way. We want our proposals accepted (because they make perfect sense) and we want to reject everything the other side wants (because they don’t make any sense).”

But in the end they either come on board or they’re left behind.

To reach a resolution, both sides have to come out of the process believing they came away with something, something of some value.

Reaching resolutions is simply determining if what you want is worth giving up something for it.
Determining if what you want is worth the price.

JT

There’s a lot of videos out there about getting someone (opposite sex) to say yes…I decided to go way back and hear what Elvis would say..
Click the link below. (Never) Say Yes