At this blog, I’ve been listing Rules for Negotiators. A “how to” if you will on getting what you want in life, on the job, where ever.

Ever wonder why we negotiate? Is it the hope we’ll take everything from someone else? Or just our fair share? I’ve spent a long time – almost a quarter century – wondering just that. Why are we doing this? Do you negotiate in your life? Do you think you even negotiate at all? No?

I think we all do. It’s just we do it so often we just don’t call it negotiating. Arguing is probably more like it. “Conning” someone out of something! We want that raise, that promotion. We want our price on that car in the showroom. We want… a lot. Sometimes we want so many things we can’t figure out what we want first! I too have often been at a loss to know what I wanted the most.

And to be honest, I’ve done my share of arguing too.

Now, back to the original question: I do know why I’ve been negotiating all these years, I got paid. But really, don’t we all “negotiate” or “bargain” over things in life too.

A guy I know fancies himself a negotiator, a true businessman. “We need to run (fill in the blank) like a business!” But his “negotiating” skills are simply to out talk and to out talk louder than the other guy. That’s it! That’s his strategy. And sometimes he gets his way. Why? Well, while most people won’t deal with him those that do just want him to stop yelling. That’s not negotiating – that’s bullying.

So today, I just wanted to share with you what I think of when it comes to negotiating. It took me awhile to realize that:

Negotiating is simply knowing what you want and what you are willing to do (give) to get it.

Am I willing to give up X and Y in order to get, what I really want, Z? Is giving up X to expensive a price to pay for Z? If you’re going to be successful, you learn quickly to prioritize!

Negotiating: It’s not about taking everything from others.

Sometimes we have to “Give it Up!” too.
Right JB? Too Funky In Here!

JT

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