Yes.
I am.
It’s not really an age thing.
But I suppose there’s that angle as well.
Just feeling the need to slow my pace.
I had decided this year I want to more appreciate where I’m at.
Today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow.
In a more reflective state of mind, I’ve noticed I tend to go through “things” quickly.
Really quick.
Always busy, self absorbed in the project of the day, or week. There is always something to attend to,
the places to go, people to see.
It’s amazing how fast my time goes too.
I’ve sensed that to others I must often seemed rushed.
It all may have started when I was younger, thinking I may need to get things done quickly, accomplish something in life, just in case I died young.
So long ago, I began making a challenge out of almost everything I do.
Even to the point that I time myself to see how long it takes to get whatever I’m doing done.
And by the way, not sure this is in any way related, I tend to usually run late as well.
A friend once told me that he always expected me to be late because I always crammed in so many tasks before we’d meet that he would give me a 15 minutes, a grace period. If I arrived within the 15 minutes then I really wasn’t late. I think he meant to say I was a real active guy who gets things done!
Typically I work towards reaching some goal. Nothing, I’ve found is too mundane to attach a goal to it.
Like getting some regular chore done.
Trimming the trees in my backyard in under 30 minutes. Mow and edge the lawn in 20 minutes.
Or leaving my house on a Saturday morning at 1130 a.m. with 7 stops to make before I make it to the club for the noon drawing. (I usually get there with minutes to spare. Win!)
Or, sometimes just getting “things.”
A car, maybe a vacation or running errands on Wednesday morning and getting to my mom’s by 12:15 for coffee and pie.
I think of them all as challenges.
Life is a journey after all, right?
My journey is about meeting all these challenges.
I am my man on a mission.
Then after I conquer the challenge, when I finish?
Well, that’s it, nothing.
I’m done.
As soon as I’m finished, I’m off onto the next “need to do” item.
Cross another one off the list of things to do. Or see. Or get.
I don’t take any time to enjoy, whatever it was, that I just did.
A moment not savored. No time.
My life – a highway with mile markers. Each marker is my next challenge, my mission.
I gear up to reach marker #117.
And then I just pass it by.
On to the next one.
So, this year I’ve been thinking about attaining a better sense of mindfulness.
Reflect a little more on where I am and from where I’ve come, and not solely on where I’m going.
If Life is to be a journey maybe I need to pull over a bit more frequently.
Visit a rest stop or two.
Hence, I’ve decided to slow it down a bit.
(Did you just notice I used the word “Hence”? My challenge was to use it once in this post.)
Maybe not cut back on every challenge I create for myself but rather to reflect more when I get there.
Take a breath or two.
Savor more moments.
Slow down my time.
Deep breath.
Savoring this moment now.
I feel better.
Marker #118 is fast approaching.
JT
In the meantime now that I’m reflecting, I just realized I’m now too old to die young.
Check that off my list.
Click the link https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=GCEo5vbabt8&feature=share