How to be Terribly Aware this Year

Of everything, of course.

You may have heard the best way to deal with life is simply to
Keep an open mind.

In the words of someone famous, “WRONG!”

Some years ago I was introduced to a certain group of people.
Not attached to any political party, not a D or an R. Not liberal or conservative. They were from all walks of life but had one common link.

I met this group when I was first running for office.
They were the people I just had to meet. The movers and shakers whose validation I felt I needed if I was to be successful.

They knew everything!
They had all the answers.
They could, and would, and did, point out all the mistakes I had made or was about to make.

Open minded? Not on their life.
No, they didn’t have to be – they were right and everyone else, was not.

They were members of the “So Terribly Aware” club.

The S T A’s were so cool!

They had their opinions and answers and a way of looking at you as if you just said something incredibly stupid. I soaked up all their advice!

And I wanted to be like them.
I thought if I could, I would be accepted into their club. I would finally belong.
I couldn’t wait to get “wiser” and become SO AWARE!

After awhile though, I didn’t think they would ever accept me.
But after observing for awhile, I discovered out how to do it.
On my own.
How to be STA.
Anyone can do it!
So i give you…
The STA Checklist

1. Talk over everyone. No one has anything interesting to say and their conversation will only delay you from giving your take on everything. Better yet, interrupt constantly. This makes the other person stop talking so they can fully listen to you. If you need to, get angry. Anger Works!

2. Recognize that all reality comes from you and you alone. If you think it, it is real. For you and anyone in your radius. After all, it is YOUR life.

3. Have an opinion (facts) on everything. It doesn’t have to make sense, just say it louder (see #1 above). Argue and then abruptly end the discussion before the other person can say anything. You win again! Always take the opposite side of everyone.

4. Never, ever change. If you were created by a perfect being, then you must be…well it just follows. Doing things they way you’ve always done them is not only smarter but it’s more efficient too!

5. If friends and family disagree with you, Cut Them Off… NOW. No need for distractions.

6. Complain about everything. It’s your world.

7. All good things begin with the word Self. (centered, righteous, indulgent)

8. Do this with your hands – make a fist with one hand and say this is me, then take your other fist and circle the first hand saying “And this is the world.” I did this for years. Everyone loved it!

9. Begin every sentence with: “You know what you should have done? “ And then tell them. This really makes you sound like an expert.

10. Never. Ever. Listen.To Anyone. Why?
If, after reading this far you still don’t know you’ll never qualify for membership.

Sound difficult?
Maybe, but remember everything worthwhile in life is hard.

And remember. Practice. Practice. Practice.
Soon everyone will discover how aware, terribly so, you really are!
In fact no one will ever make the mistake thinking your mind is open to anything.

They’ll stop bothering you –
No more questions,
No more interruptions,
No more distractions,
No more No one.

Just you and your own thoughts.
Enjoy the solitude!

JT