I start off each seminar by asking the audience to describe successful negotiations. I get usually get a variety of answers but eventually the answer will come out: successful negotiations are the ones where both sides are satisfied with the outcome.

That is to say when both sides got something they wanted. And then I ask if anyone has any questions before I begin.

Here are some typical questions I usually hear:

1. Are you really that smart? Or a variation like “You must be very smart to be a negotiator, right?”
OK, I really don’t get that a lot. But I always prepare this answer just in case.

Well…Yes I am!
Truth is, I’m no smarter than anyone else. To be successful in negotiating or reaching resolutions, you need common sense and the ability to know what you want and what you’re prepared to give up.

2. Is negotiating difficult?

No, not really. I look at negotiations as simply a process used to reach a resolution. Sometimes we intimidate ourselves by thinking that only experts can negotiate.
Some things are only as difficult as we make them to be.

3. Do I need a lawyer to negotiate on my behalf?

I think this myth is perpetuated by attorneys. It’s simply not true. Successful resolutions are often determined by simple common sense on both sides. Attorneys most often offer advice or counsel, they don’t usually act as the decision makers.

4. Will college prepare me for negotiating?

Any courses on collective bargaining may help but certainly it’s not necessary. I had one course on collective bargaining and it taught me the history of collective bargaining, not how to negotiate.

5. Have you ever made a mistake?
A (one) mistake? No, I’ve made several. I continually had to learn and then relearn how to reach resolutions. I’ve shared more than a few in this blog.

6. If I make a mistake, won’t everyone laugh and then not respect me?

First, everyone makes mistakes. Second, the key is how you respond to your mistake. And take it from me, if you can laugh at yourself, you don’t notice the others laughing with you.

7. Have you ever had to deal with someone you just don’t like?

Yes I have, on several occasions. Life sometimes involves dealing with crappy people. I’ve discovered there are 2 ways to deal with them. Change my reaction; or avoid them.

8. What if I’m a shy person and have difficulty speaking aloud?

Well, at some point you’ll have to speak out to get what you want. If you don’t how will anyone know what it is you want? But I make the point here that negotiating isn’t about who yells the loudest. There are people who do negotiate like that. Usually they lose.

9. What if I don’t know what to do?

Read this blog.
And I must say that I’ve always felt that in order to reach a resolution, you have to prepare. You have to become an “expert” in the field/issue you are negotiating or at the very least surround yourself with experts. That’s what I usually do. Surround myself with people smarter than me.

10. Am I too old to reach my resolutions?

You are never too old. Everyday we are “transacting’ with each other. We only stop reaching resolutions when we stop trying.

11. Does reaching a resolution always make you happy?

Yes it does. Why? Because everyday life contains a series of “transactions.” It’s a give and take.
My goal in life is to be happy. If I can reach a resolution, then yes I’m happy!

So there you have it. A sample of the questions I get. And my honest answers to each.
If you ‘d like to read more, check out my book!

Reaching Resolutions 10 Rules for Success.

JT

Enough about me and what I do, ever wonder about that Biff guy from the Back to the Future movies?
Thought so, so check this video link out and get all the questions you never thought to ask answered …by “the” Biff himself!