The last couple of posts have focused on your team and their responsibilities. But what about you? What should you be like?

Although many negotiators, many individuals trying to reach resolutions are domineering, dictatorial, wait I’m searching for another “d” word… I’ve found the path to successful negotiating to resolution is best accomplished by service – to your employer, your team and to yourself.

I once worked for, not directly under thankfully, an individual so wrapped up in his notion of power that he was an absolute hindrance to accomplishing anything. He didn’t attempt to inspire. No, he intended to intimidate.

A few years back I was wrapping up a contract. We were ready to settle and I jumped through every hoop he created. All that was left was a simple telephone conference with him to go over the details of the settlement. Details he had insisted upon. I cleared everything with his assistant right down to submitting all my talking points for his approval – days prior to the call! Everything he asked for, I delivered.

I triple checked my proposal and informed the union that I would need a conference room and telephone to get final approval from my principal. And then at the time I was directed to call him, I did just that. I got his assistant on the line, who patched me into his highness’ office. I was asked who I was. I explained my call succinctly. I was then asked where my supervisor was and I answered he was negotiating another contract. I even offered the reason for my call – per his office I was calling to finalize the settlement terms of this contract, where I was located, even reminding him that we had previously met in his office. He then asked where our office attorney was – I was dumbfounded but answered honestly – “He’s in Greece on vacation.”

And with that response, there was a screech as if the telephone was pulled across the table and then… all quiet. I turned to my co-worker and asked, “Did they just hang up on us?” The response on the line was from the assistant, “No John. I’m still here” Mr. $#&@ er! ( my new term for him) decided he didn’t want to speak to anyone at a lower level than Deputy Director. WHAT!

So, without any direction, after traveling to the Chicago area to meet with members of a large union’s negotiating team and expecting to settle a contract, I had to go to the other side, apologize and schedule additional meetings only after I could make sense of where my “leader” wanted to go.

Unbelievable but true. There were many other stories with this guy. Screaming sessions with the team were the norm. Team members often acted out of pure fear.

When his assistant called me wanting a conference call regarding another union I told him (only half jokingly) that it wouldn’t work since I made it a rule to never talk with someone OVER the level of Deputy Director! There was dead silence and then (luckily for me!) the Assistant chuckled (ever so slightly)! When I did make that call, MR. (see derogatory name above) berated one of our team members so badly she was reduced to tears. Our negotiating session went nowhere that day as well.

So why the tale of this guy? In my view, he was the worst example of a team leader. The fact he held a high- ranking position notwithstanding, he was not a person to imitate. He made no attempt to lead his team by consensus, only by fear. He was a bully. And where is he now? Out of any position dealing with the human race I hope. Other than that – Don’t know and don’t care.

To me, a leader of a negotiating team must be, in no particular ranked order: a friend, a listener, a reassuring voice, a leader, while also inspiring trust – Trust that you will represent everyone on the team. Just as you need to have confidence in your team – your team needs to feel that same confidence in you.

This was the standard I tried to reach. With this guy setting such a low bar, it was easy!

JT

OK, this week’s vid has nothing other than the title in common with this post! I remember my “older” sister singing it, and getting upset with me when I made fun of the lyrics! Hey I was only 8!

(Click the link below! Enjoy, Abby! L/JT)