OK so today is Sunday – The Bears won’t play until Monday night against the Packers so what to do, what to do…?

This blog is about negotiating or, more to the point, Reaching Resolutions. Catchy, right?

So…… what exactly does the word negotiate mean??

Per Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary:

Negotiate

ne·go·ti·ate verb \ni-ˈgō-shē-ˌāt, ÷-sē-\
: to discuss something formally in order to make an agreement

: to agree on (something) by formally discussing it

: to get over, through, or around (something) successfully
ne·go·ti·at·edne·go·ti·at·ing

Full Definition of NEGOTIATE

intransitive verb
: to confer with another so as to arrive at the settlement of some matter
transitive verb
1
a : to deal with (some matter or affair that requires ability for its successful handling) : manage
b : to arrange for or bring about through conference, discussion, and compromise
2
a : to transfer (as a bill of exchange) to another by delivery or endorsement
b : to convert into cash or the equivalent value
3
a : to successfully travel along or over
b : complete, accomplish
— ne·go·ti·a·tor noun
— ne·go·ti·a·to·ry adjective

Examples of NEGOTIATE

The customer wanted to negotiate over the price.
She has good negotiating skills.
We negotiated a fair price.
The driver carefully negotiated the winding road.

First Known Use: 1599

OK, OK – definition aside, Many people think negotiating is really just another form of ARGUING.

It is absolutely not the same! “Arguing” could be used as a strategy to make a point on a single issue in the overall negotiations but arguing for the sake of arguing is NOT negotiating!

I once witnessed a stranger attempt to “negotiate” with an employee on a cruise ship. The cruise line offered a special on the first night of the cruise, for $40 you could purchase a refillable container for soft drinks that was good for the entire trip. This guy wanted to negotiate with the hapless employee. “I’ll give you $20 for it” “I’m sorry sir, but the price is $40,” was the response. Mr Negotiator begins to get angry, raising his voice and arguing with the employee about how much he already paid for the cruise and he wasn’t going to pay over $20! He threatened to walk away from a sure sale but again was told, ” I’m sorry sir, but the price is $40.” He then asked how much would the container cost the next day. “We are only selling this container the first night of this cruise, the offer will not be available after today.” The employee, and the guy, could have read from the many signs posted at the table saying the same thing. “Well, we’ll see about that! I’ll be back tomorrow to buy it and I’ll get it at a reduced price!” And with that the red-faced negotiator angrily stormed off.

The next day arrived and the table and the employee selling the refillable containers were nowhere to be found. Mr Negotiator tried his hand at negotiating, got angry, started to argue and in the end, got nothing for his efforts.

We’ve all seen this repeated at one time or another, I’ve done it often! – We often fail: to see what it is we really want; to determine what we are willing to give up for it and then; to plan how to get it. We fall back on arguing, raising our voices to intimidate all the while believing that we are somehow entitled to get something for nothing.

I’ll offer this as the premise for our discussions on negotiating:

NEGOTIATING: Using a set of strategies or guidelines (Rules) enabling us to complete our journey through, around and over Life’s obstacles in pursuit of our endgame goals. Life is negotiable. (author John Terranova)

To recap, here’s what we’ve covered so far:

Rule #1 Don’t Take It Personal.
Rule #2 Don’t Take it Personal. (I really mean it!)
Rule #3 Know the Language.
Rule #4 Know What is Real.
Rule #5 ??

Until next time, enjoy Van Morrison “There’ll be days like this.”

JT