Can you say NO?

Some recent posts dealt with getting the other side to say yes.
What about when you have to say NO?

Saying NO to the other side is easy.

But how do you tell your own side No?
You’re their representative. The one who’s supposed to get them what they want.
And now you want to tell them No?
Can’t be done. Or can it?

When I negotiate, I do listen to what my side wants. I include every one of their proposals. In fact, it’s not uncommon for my side to have more proposals than the other side.
A coworker once asked me why I submitted all those proposals when I knew we wouldn’t be able to get agreement on all of them.

I do it because that’s what my team wanted. It’s important that they know I’m on their side.

Now, when I include their proposals I also ask them a key question.
What are you willing to give up in order to get what they want?
It’s important that my side begins to think in those terms.

Of course, every team member usually says we have to HAVE it and we don’t want to give up ANYTHING.
OK, I say. But I ask the question anyway.

During the back and forth of negotiations, my side will see that I’m pursuing their proposals and they are also hearing what the other says in response.
If what they’re proposing has merit – in the other side’s view- we may in fact get it.
If the other side doesn’t see it, then we probably won’t.

At some point, we may be able to get something but we need to also think about what can we live without? Thinking in those terms it’s clearer to my side whether what we thought we wanted is actually worth the price.

And if my side wants to continue the fight, I continue the fight.
But if we are getting close to an overall resolution and it becomes apparent to me that we won’t get what my team member wants,
I have to tell them No, we just aren’t able to get what they want.

It’s never easy to say no but: if I’ve carried their proposal to the table; fought during every session to get what they want; saying No is a little easier.

And it is easier to accept because I’ve represented them well.

You’re probably thinking, “That’s all well and good. But what about when the team comes up with a totally ridiculous proposal. Something that is so out there you can’t possibly bring it to the table without setting the negotiation process back centuries!”

Maybe that’s a bit extreme.

But it has happened.

And that’s the next post.
For Now, Rule # 8 Just say NO!
JT

In the meantime, Check the vid link below and practice your NO by singing along!

Response to “Can you say NO?”

  1. Niki

    RIngo says no to everything!

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