I was waiting to pick up a rental car and I started checking out Facebook. I had some time.
I came across a site that tells you when you’re going to die. Yes, what age you’ll die.
I’ve always known I was going to die, just didn’t know when. Now I do.
When I was younger I remember telling everyone that I was immortal.
That was when I was young.
Now I’m not. As young.
So this site asked a number of questions. Like do you like steak or salad? Or sushi. What’s your favorite candy. Or did you ever inhale a substance that was not good for you. What’s your favorite season. Do you like to meet new people? Or, this one – When was the last time you had sex? Or do you use moisturizer daily?
I’m sure you can see the scientific nature of the quiz.
So I answered somewhat truthfully. And my death age is….68.
So I took the test again. And I changed some of the answers. Yes i love salad and kelp. Yes I use moisturizer daily. I told the truth about the sex though.
And my answer was…68. Again.
What? I even work out!
I took it a third time. And I changed every answer except the sex question, I mean it asked when was the last time so I truthfully said last night.
And then, there it was.. my new death age is…75! Finally!
I’m feeling better. I even told Miechelle I’ll be around awhile longer. I think she was pleased.
Told her about all the questions, even the sex one. How I honestly answered that one too.
Then I got the look.
What, I asked.
Seems I got that question wrong, too.
Screw you Facebook. I’m still going with 75.
Check the vid link
JB and High Fidelty, one of the best male angst movies..evah