Do we apologize too much?
Do we mean it when we do? I sometimes wonder. We all try to get ahead. Ahead of each other. We may not realize that. To get ahead, we mean to get ahead of you. At what point, can we stop?
I no longer need to get ahead. It’s not that I’m finished. With anything. I’m still trying to reach my goals. I’m just not competing with you. Anymore.
I used to know someone like that. He was always trying to show he’s getting ahead. No stopping him. He wanted to leave a legacy.
He wanted to be all things to all people. What is it you want to hear? He’d tell you. Be more aggressive. Be less aggressive. No, of course not, that’s not what he meant. Wait a minute, yes it was. He flipped, then he flopped.
He got to the point where he wouldn’t talk to people if he thought they wouldn’t always agree with him. He was always hurt, because he was really a nice guy and couldn’t understand why people would have a different opinion.
Today a different day? Then today it’s a different tale. He convinced himself he was loved. Then he was convinced everyone turned on him. He ended up being true to no one. Least of all himself. In a short time he could be depressed, happy, angry, sad.
And he would apologize. Constantly. It was as if he felt that if he did, then everyone he hurt, stepped on , would accept him better.
I once heard him say nothing ever hurt like… fill in the blank. It was always something beyond his control. But he would always, always apologize.
After awhile, no one listened. Or cared. He eventually left his job. Not sure where he was headed. I think he got burned out. He was already well into his thirties.
My take? Be true to the truth, the reality of each situation. Not just your version. Do what’s right, not just what is expected, or convenient or expedient. Not always easy I admit.
Where is he now? I really don’t know. I haven’t seen him in awhile. I think he discovered he didn’t have to always get ahead to make a difference.
How did I know this guy? He used to be me.